


grain-based tea

by vagarius



Category: Free!
Genre: Haru being Haru, M/M, Slice of Life, Winter Break, characters being sweet, contentedness, i don't really know what to call this other than 4000+ words of procrastination on my part, my love for naps is reflected in my writing, rei is awkward but not always, rin shows up once and still manages to be a little shit but also a good friend, so it's not a tag, somewhat domestic but not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-30
Updated: 2015-11-30
Packaged: 2018-05-04 05:56:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5323025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vagarius/pseuds/vagarius
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's a strange feeling.</p>
            </blockquote>





	grain-based tea

**Author's Note:**

> (because the "your parents so so spend time with me over break" story always seems to get to me, except both their parents probably suck in this department)

They're in the Samezuka locker room, drying themselves off thoroughly in preparation for the cold winter air – that's the main reason for these joint practices, anyway – and he can hear Nagisa's muffled talking over the general buzz of worn-down swimmers as he reluctantly changes out of his jammers into a pair of briefs.

"Hey, Mako-chan, what are you doing over break?"

The conversation seems innocent enough; it's just Nagisa being curious, and he can't see Makoto from under the t-shirt he's pulling over his head, but he can imagine Makoto wearing that disarming smile of his, probably thinking about the last two winter breaks where he and Haru had holed themselves in his room playing video games – it's what Haru's expecting to do this year, really, no need to be sheepish about it – and he's waiting for Makoto to explain exactly that when he finally dishes out a response.

"I'm going to visit some relatives in Tokyo, actually. My train leaves on Saturday."

And just like that, his expectations shatter. Dead. Gone. Left to rot on the doorstep of his empty house.

"What about you, Haru-chan?"

Haru's not listening, exactly, but he has time to register what he's heard while he finishes putting on his t-shirt. He blinks once, twice, as his head pops out from under of the fabric. A shrug.

"I don't know."

Makoto gives him a look, then, as if he can hear the _not anymore_ Haru decidedly left out, and continues to smile, lacing some sort of apology into his expression, as well as the kind of fickle pity that tends to get lost in translation. In truth, it doesn't look all that different from his other smiles; it's a difference in feeling, not appearance, and in a way, that's how Haru communicates, through intuitive differences rather than any actual change in expression or diction, though Nagisa may think otherwise. He swears it's the eyes.

Nagisa's idle chatter (mostly directed towards Rei) continues to paint over the canvas of voices that slowly trickles out of the locker room. Rei is listening, probably, because that's what he usually does, but today is apparently brush-off-Haru's-expectations-like-they're-snow-on-the-roof-of-a-car day, so when Haru spares the pair a glance, Rei is blatantly distracted and in an uncharacteristic rush to leave. He waves a hasty goodbye, politely shoves his way out the door, and most likely out of the building. Haru isn't sure. Today isn't a sure day.

Nagisa mumbles something that suspiciously sounds like _what even, Rei-chan,_ grabs his coat, and proceeds to speed walk in some sort of sulky pursuit that only Nagisa, and possibly Rin, could manage.

Haru bends down to pull on his socks, then his pants, and then his shoes. He grabs his sweater and Makoto's windbreaker as he heads towards the door, and waits for Makoto to finish changing.

This, at least, is soothingly familiar.

 

 

 

The train ride and subsequent walk home are spent in companionable silence, Makoto too busy shivering to expend any warm breaths on idle chatter, and Haru too caught up in the newfound uncertainty that is certain to be present during the next couple of weeks. The ocean hums next to them, water rolling in and out of the shore, melting into sea foam as it breaks with gravity and the wind. The air is surprisingly dry, though it might just be the way it sits in Haru's throat like uncooked rice, unforgiving. It's still there, as he turns to Makoto at the bottom of the steps, and says, "Come over," as if his voice doesn't sound choked or vaguely desperate.

And it's the way that Makoto tells him, "Not today, Haru-chan," that reminds Haru that Saturday is _tomorrow,_ Makoto _leaves_ tomorrow, and he probably doesn't have the right to feel this lost, because it's _just two weeks,_ not an eternity, and Makoto's coming _back,_ but that doesn't stop the rice in his throat from boiling over and leaving him alone on his living room floor before he can even think to say _drop the –chan._

He swallows, metaphorical rice dropping into his stomach where it belongs, but the feeling remains long after he falls asleep, ghosting inside his neck even as he wakes up the next morning exhausted.

There's a note on the low table that sits in the middle of the house, along with his blinking phone. The note says to check the phone, and although there is no signature, Haru knows that this is Makoto's doing, and wonders when exactly Makoto had entered the house, and why he hadn't simply written what he needed to say on the paper rather than taking the trouble to indirectly relay it, unless it's another voice mail.

It's not another voice mail. There are two new text messages on his phone, the first one from Makoto. _I'm on the train to Tokyo with Ren and Ran,_ it reads, _Mom and Dad left yesterday afternoon, while we were at practice. Sorry about yesterday. See you?_

Haru can't help but smile, scrolling down to check the next message. It's from Rei, a simple _Haruka-senpai?_ and nothing more, and Haru's expression quickly slips from contented to concerned. Rei knows that Haru doesn't use his phone, or at least he _should_ , so it's equally confusing and disconcerting to be reading such an ambiguous message. The screen shuts off before Haru can think of a reply. He supposes that's a good thing.

He put down his phone, grabs his jammers, and runs a bath, soaking in the tub until his fingers prune and his skin is covered in goose bumps. It's too late for breakfast, but he makes it anyway, his stomach growling with an accidently missed dinner. His stomach thanks him for the much needed food.

With nothing else to do, he draws.

There are sketchbooks scattered around the house in increasingly odd places – the one closest to him happens to be under the pillow he's sitting on, and he flips it open to a blank page. All of his sketchbooks have a pencil tucked into the spine, so he grabs it, makes sure it sharpened, and starts to draw. He starts creating a waterfall that somehow ends up being a train station, train leaving the outskirts and turning into a snowy city where the buildings are flooded with ice. He's putting the reflection in one of the train car's windows when his doorbell rings. It feels hesitant, the sound, like someone pressing lightly on a piano key in attempt to play quieter, even though the notes don't always come out when playing that way.

Outside the door, a gust of wind greets him, as well as one Ryugazaki Rei. He looks surprised, which doesn't really make much sense, considering he's the one that arrived unexpectedly. Haru takes it in stride, mumbling a barely distinct, "Come in," as he moves back inside the house.

Rei toes off his shoes. "Pardon the intrusion," he murmurs back, then, louder, "Sorry for arriving without notice, but I wanted to ask you something, so I texted you, then realized that Haruka-senpai doesn't use his phone, and I just came... here... instead." He smiles and shrugs his shoulders sheepishly. "I must sound very silly right now."

"It's fine," Haru says, because it is. If Rei felt the need to come all the way to Iwatobi just to ask something, Haru wasn't going to deny him. Besides, he could use the company, especially from someone like Rei, whose presence, despite his relentless determination, has never felt overbearing. "Tea?" he asks, because it's cold outside, and Rei's nose looks like it might freeze red before falling with a _clink_ to the floor.

Rei smiles, nose crinkling, and tells Haru "Yes, thank you," and goes to sit on one of the cushions by the low table. As Haru brings in the tea, he says, "I was wondering if you were doing anything over break?" and he sounds so earnest, so _Rei,_ that he almost drops the tray.

"No," he replies, then, "I figured you heard last practice." And really, he did. Nagisa has loud questions, and Rei has good ears. It makes sense.

"I guess I was distracted," Rei explains, and Haru suddenly remembers how Rei was in a rush, and wasn't listening, and how he politely shoved his way out the door, and Haru is simultaneously filled with concern. He pushes it aside, however, as Rei speaks again. "If you really don't have plans, would you like to spend time with me over the break? I figured it would be nice to have company."

Haru nods in agreement, before he voices, "What about your family?" childish curiosity masked by an absent-minded monotone.

"My mom has a business trip, and my brother is staying at the apartment for a few days before spending the rest of the holiday at college." Rei pauses after his explanation. "Do you have any siblings, Haruka-senpai?"

_It's just me,_ he thinks but doesn't say, and replies with a simple _no_. "What about your dad?" Haru asks, and immediately regrets it.

Rei shrugs. "My parents are divorced," he states, and Haru's face must be pulling something strange, because he continues, "It was a mutual decision on their part. I'm just glad that they're happy." Haru is surprised to see that the statement is genuine, though he's not sure _why_ he's surprised. Rei, for all his quirks and meddling and seeming lack of close friends, has been, for as long as Haru has known him, stable in the sense of reason, and in contradiction, respectful of people's decisions, even if he deems them unreasonable. He's always put people's wants above his own, and if a decision helps someone reach those wants, he gently accepts, if not guides it. It's a beautiful thing to do, but Rei may be confused by Haru's train of thought, so he keeps it to himself, for now.

Rei moves the thick layers of clothing up his wrist, which he must be sweating in, by now, to check his watch. A startled noise escapes him, something between a gasp and a miniscule screech, and he hurriedly gets up from his spot on the floor. "I didn't even notice the time, I'm sorry I have to leave so abruptly, Haruka-senpai." He speed-walks to the door, and slips on his shoes. "Can I stop by tomorrow? I'd like to do some last minute Christmas shopping."

"Sure," Haru says, just before Rei slips through the door and into the winter air.

He blinks, and grabs another sketchbook.

 

 

 

Haru must've fallen asleep at the table, if his back is any indication.

There's also the drool on his paper that he would never admit to, and the fact he's still in yesterday's clothing. He's glad that his choice in outfit was comfortable, and not something like his school uniform, where the buttons would've dug into his skin and the waistband into his hips, because that would've been unfortunate and mildly irritating.

He sits up and stretches, stands and does the same, and goes to run a bath. He doesn't stay in as long as usual, because of the chill, but still cooks breakfast in his apron and jammers. _It's not a habit,_ he told Makoto once, _it's routine._ Makoto had whined, exasperated, and Haru was surprised that Makoto didn't bang his head against the table or the wall or something, because Makoto had just honest-to-goodness _whined._

Haru lays in bed for a while, for the sake of his back, only rolling out of it to pull on a sweater and track pants, and nearly forgets to put his coat by the door before going to lay down again. In his next aware moment, the doorbell is ringing, there's drool on his pillow, and his feet are taking revenge over his lack of socks.

Haru opens the door, says "Let me put on socks," and leaves the open entryway and Rei to do as they please. When he returns, Rei starts stringing out apologies, about how he didn't give a set time and how he's sorry if he interrupted anything and how that was not at all beautiful of him until Haru holds up a hand to signal him to stop. Rei shuts up immediately, and Haru can picture his teeth making an audible, cartoonish _clack_ as he puts on his shoes at the door. He almost smiles, at the thought, but reins it in as he stands up fully. Rei leads the way out the door, and Haru follows.

The walk to the train station is uneventful, as well as the train ride itself. Haru, briefly, wonders if Rei still runs the last stretch of the train ride to school in the winter, when it's cold and there's the possibility of snow, which leads him to wonder if he does it when it rains, and he stops the thought there, because he had almost started weighing the merits of running in the rain as opposed to running with Nagisa. They get off the train at one of the smaller shopping centers, somewhere between Iwatobi and Samezuka Academy. Haru hopes there's still money in his coat pocket, and if not there, then in his track pants.

The first store they stop in is large enough to be overwhelming, but Haru doesn't bother voicing this. He sticks a tad closer to Rei as he walks, watching the clothes and snow globes and other various knick-knacks pass by like he's still on the train, and not walking through a store where his feet can't feel the floor and his ears feel too much of the noise. Eventually, Rei leads them to an isolated section of the store, branching off from behind the display of overly priced charms, containing stacks of used books and cups of tacky pens. Rei's face brightens and softens all at once, like a cat in the summer sun, and Haru has to hold in a smile for the second time that day.

There's a shout, the opening of the window, and the simultaneous shiver of everything in the store as the chilly winter air comes and goes, soon replaced by the warm hum that previously occupied the space.

Rei starts chattering, at some point or another, spewing nonsense about books and their merits and how certain styles tend correspond with sentence structure and asks something like _what kind of books do you like, Haruka-senpai?_ and Haru responds in kind with his preference for light novels and waterfalls. Rei swiftly grabs another book to add to his ever-growing stack, tells Haru he's going to pay, but if Haru wants to look some more he'll gladly wait, and Haru feels comfortable enough to actually do so instead of following Rei up to the counter, so he does.

They stop at a few more stores, after that – a sweets shop that sells clear bags of candy and little strawberry cakes, a knock-off shoe store, where Rei contemplates running shoes before leaving the store empty handed, and the swimwear department of the sports section, upon Haru's request.

Haru is content, at the end of it all, and when Rei asks if he wants to stop at his apartment, for a while, Haru can't find it in himself to say no.

 

 

 

When Rei opens his apartment door, with a small ring of "I'm home," he isn't expecting an answer. Haru knows this. The resounding answer of "Welcome home" comes as a surprise for both of them, and Rei startles, squeaking and nearly dropping his shopping bags. Haru blinks.

"Nii-san?" Rei calls, as a young man steps in front of the entryway, "You're early."

The man smiles, drapes an arm over Rei's shoulder, ruffles his hair. "Stop sounding so disappointed," he teases, grinning, "Am I not allowed to visit a few days early to surprise my little brother?"

"Of course you're _allowed_ to, but I prefer to have prior notice so I can actually _prepare_ for your arrival – "

"Yeah, yeah, of course," the man continues, "Preparation, and all that. I was honestly surprised when I arrived to an empty apartment. Knocked and everything, until I realized no one was home I'd have to use my old key." He grins, again, and pulls Rei in tighter. "Then you show up, with someone I've never met, and act all disappointed that I'm here. Were you planning on having a party while mom isn't home? Is that it?"

"I m-most certainly was _not!_ " Rei shrieks, indignant.

The man laughs. "Chill, Rei, I'm kidding. You don't have enough friends for that. But who's this?" Haru suddenly has an eyeful of blue hair and dress shirt. "Is he the one who usually comes over, Nagisa-kun, was it?" The blue hair presses in closer. "He doesn't seem like a Nagisa-kun. Didn't he invite you to his house for the holidays?"

Rei sighs. "No, this isn't Nagisa-kun, and I declined anyways. I couldn't intrude on his time with his family. This is Haruka-senpai. Haruka-senpai, this is my brother, Tooru."

_Nice to meet you,_ Haru tries to say, but Tooru interrupts with, "You mean the swimmer?" which is an inane question, considering that they're all swimmers.

"We're all swimmers, Nii-san," Rei points out, looking worn down, and a touch defeated.

"I didn't mean it like that." ( _What else could he have meant?_ Haru thinks, confused.)"I mean _the_ swimmer. The one who finally convinced you to join the club with his, and I quote, 'absolutely beautiful swimming.' You said you thought swimming was something that chained people down, but he looked so free and unbidden in the water it made you question why you ever believed that. I could practically _see_ the sparkles in your eyes."

_Oh._ Haru... didn't know that.

"Nii-san!" Rei scolds, sounding embarrassed, but Haru's having none of it.

Haru speaks up. "You talked about us?" he asks, sounding more curious than he'd like.

Rei blushes. "Well, yes, through email. Nii-san's nosy."

Tooru frowns – pouts, really – and stalks further into the apartment, leaving Rei and Haru in the entryway. Haru finally takes off his shoes.

"I'm sorry about that, my brother can be a bit... much," Rei apologizes, smiling sheepishly.

"It's fine," Haru says, and it is, for the most part. He's tempted to repeat the phrase, but deems it unnecessary, at least for now. There's still stuff he wants to say, stuff that's difficult to articulate from beyond the sound of ocean waves and the shadows of cherry trees, stuff like inspiration and beauty and _why did you invite me here, Rei, why now,_ but all of that can wait until Rei stops looking so cornered and Haru stops feeling so lost.

Rei blinks, a small blush high on his cheeks, whether from the cold or the previous conversation, Haru is unsure. "Tea?" he asks, and Haru nods, because tea sounds nice.

The tea _is_ nice; it feels warm against his stiff fingers and frozen palms, and it slides neatly down his throat. The taste isn't all that great – the tea is probably grain-based, which Haru isn't a fan of, not that he'd ever tell Rei that – but the way it makes Rei look like he's drinking liquid sunshine more than makes up for it. He's rambling again, something about the tea, which is indeed grain-based (Haru has to hold back a grimace, however small it would've been), and when he pauses to take another sip, his brother pops in once again.

He manages to send Rei off on a mission for stuff around the apartment and to _put something that tastes a bit better on the kettle, will you?,_ and promptly sits before Haru before Rei is even out of the room.

"Say, Haruka-kun - "

"Haru is fine," Haru interrupts, but Tooru ignores him, or doesn't hear.

"Do you need me to pour that down the sink?" he asks, and Haru wonders how he knew.

Haru brings the cup to his lips once more. "It's fine," he mumbles, right before he takes a sip, and finds that the tea's practically cold, now, and based off Tooru's amused expression, he failed to keep back the grimace this time.

Tooru laughs so openly when he puts down the cup that Haru is floored when he speaks again. "You know," he says, dragging his finger along the rim of the abandoned cup, "I drowned when I was a kid." His lips tilt upwards, a little bit sardonic, but mostly sad. _Or maybe that's what disappointment looks like._ "Rei saw the whole thing, but the poor kid couldn't do anything about it." Tooru turns away, eyes trained on the corner of the table. "I didn't really think about it then, because I was like, half-dead, but it's probably the reason Rei hasn't swam until now." He straightens his back, and a new smile appears, speaking volumes more than his words ever could. "So I guess I just wanted to say thanks."

"It wasn't me," Haru responds, because it really _wasn't,_ but Tooru just continues to smile.

"Whatever you say, Haruka-kun."

Tooru takes his cup, and Haru watches as he pours the tea down the sink.

 

 

 

Haru must've fallen asleep at the table, _again_ , and Haru can't help but remember the times when Makoto would tease him for taking naps when it's cold, and how Nagisa would sometimes say _Haru-chan probably dreams about water,_ and, more recently, Rin's joke about him taking wet dreams too literally. These are memories, though, and none of them match the very much real-time hand shaking his shoulder, and the increasingly urgent voice calling _Haruka-senpai, Haruka-senpai,_ and it leaves Haru more confused than anything when he wakes.

He sits up, and the hand leaves his shoulder, leaving him vaguely upset and rather cold, though that may be the small draft from the window. _Did I leave the window open again?_ Haru wonders, and immediately dismisses the thought, because he _never_ leaves his windows open in winter.

"Haruka-senpai, you're not at home," the voice supplies, and Haru realizes _that's right, I'm at Rei's apartment, did I fall asleep?,_ and the resounding chuckle seems to mean he's been saying his thoughts out loud, which is admittedly weird, for him. "It's snowing outside," the voice continues, "And you might not make the last train home. Would you like to stay?"

"Sure," Haru answers, without thinking, and finds that when he does bother thinking about it, his answer doesn't change. "That'd be nice."

Rei smiles, like he was expecting the answer, and hands him a small bundle of clothes to change into. He heads to the bathroom with Rei's guidance, and changes. The clothes fit nicely, if just a few centimeters longer than he'd usually prefer, and with more patterns than seemingly necessary.

There's a futon waiting for him, though Rei offers the bed out of courtesy, and they both fall asleep easily enough. When Haru wakes in the late morning, Rei is just coming back from his jog, and other than the small _Good morning, Haruka-senpai,_ and the clatter of Rei's brother half-asleep in the kitchen, the start of the day is sweet and silent. They all sit around with warm drinks (grain-based tea – Tooru passes Haru a glass of water some time after the second agonizing sip) until late afternoon, when Rei accompanies Haru on his way home, in another set of borrowed clothes.

It isn't until he's running a bath at home that Haru realizes he still has Rei's clothes, and that he left his own clothes at Rei's, and doesn't particularly mind the thought of leaving them there.

It's a strange feeling.

 

 

 

He doesn't see Rei again until after the New Year.

The in-between is a blur of phone calls and drawings, one from his parents telling him that Tokyo's snowed in and that they can't visit and _we're sorry, Haruka,_ and one of a kitten hidden under the stairs, and one from Makoto who says that he has good luck this year and _what about you, Haru?,_ and one of a streetlight covered in snow, and one from Nagisa who sounds so bright even over the phone, and one of a winter-white butterfly under the blue of spring, and a text from Rei that says nothing but _come over tomorrow?,_ and his single word reply of _sure_.

And he's thinking about how his phone has never seen so much use when he runs into Rin.

Haru's always been pretty sensitive to the lower temperatures, but so has Rin, and it's only gotten worse since his escapade in Australia. He's covered from head to toe, minus his mouth and cheeks, which are bright red from cold, though they're nothing compared to his hair, which stands out against the pale winter landscape and the wool of his hat. "Yo," he says, with a shiver, and for both their sakes (because Haru can feel himself shivering too), Haru leads them to the nearest store, where all the patrons glare as he opens the door and lets the cold air in for the smallest of moments.

"What are you doing?" Haru asks, more out of courtesy then anything. Haru already knows that he's probably out buying something for Gou, or his mom, maybe, because he's a not-so-secret softie and would do anything they asked.

Predictably, Rin answers "Shopping," and less predictably, he says, "How's Rei?"

Haru blinks in momentary surprise. "Good," he states, then, "Why?"

Rin smiles, or at least tries too, but his cheeks are numb and don't seem to be cooperating. "Keeps bugging me," he replies, and Haru translates that to _he keeps texting me,_ and he doesn't know why the thought of it irks him, but it does.

"Okay," he says, as Rin continues to smile knowingly, and he lets the annoyance over Rin's expression wash over him, if only to mask his other source of irritation. He feels a scowl begin to form.

"You know," Rin starts, and he sounds a bit like Tooru, when he thanked him for something he doesn't think he did, "He always asks about you. Haruka-senpai this, Haruka-senpai that. It's kind of cute."

Haru feels all traces of the scowl lift away. "Oh."

Rin smiles again, looking even smugger than before, though the effect is somewhat lost when paired with his still-red cheeks. "You're going to Rei's now, aren't you?" he comments, and snorts good-naturedly. "Good luck, I guess." Rin walks out the door and back into the cold. Haru follows suit.

By the time he gets to Rei's, there's a thin layer of snow on his back, and his toes are probably contemplating murder. Rei rushes him inside while shoving clothes into his hands with a frantic _I'm sorry, the snow was unexpected, if I had known I wouldn't have asked you to come all this way,_ and even as he's practically pushed into the bathroom to change, he can't help but feel contented.

When he walks out of the bathroom, clad in longs sleeves and dry socks, he sees two steaming cups on the table, but no Rei. He sits, and a few minutes later Rei walks in with a gift bag in his hands, and a nervous expression on his face. "For you, Haruka-senpai."

In the bag, under a bundle of tacky Christmas print paper, are two books; a plain light novel, and what seems to be a children's book with a dark blue cover. "Thank you," Haru says, as the most important thing, and he hopes Rei can hear the gratitude he can't put into words. Then he says, "I didn't get you anything."

Rei starts spouting nonsense about how he doesn't expect anything, and Haru interrupts him with "I'm getting you something," and remembers the drawing back at his house, in one of his many sketchbooks, of the winter-white butterfly under the blue of spring. "I already have something in mind."

And when Haru looks up, he sees Rei's eyes soften and light up in the matter of a moment, and thinks something along the lines of _I'm not beautiful you are don't thank me your pants are too long_ , and goes to hug Rei like it's the most natural thing in the world, and maybe it is.

It's a while before he lets go.

 

 

 

("By the way," Haru mentions later, with the smallest of smiles, "I hate grain-based teas."

He lifts his cup, takes a sip large enough to burn, and lets the drink warm his fingers as Rei splutters beside him.)

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> considering that i had this idea more than half a year ago i'm not really sure what i initially intended, but i'm pretty happy with how it turned out. also was gonna post tomorrow because december but things happen.


End file.
